Sometimes (or most of the time !), wherever we are, whoever we are, we have an inner little voice entering our minds to tell us “Oh yes, I know I have everything I need to feel good, but still though, if things could be different, I’d be really happy”.
As time goes by and experiences accumulate, I learned how not to trust this little inner voice telling me that if things were different I’d be happy. I learned how to see in this message another message. This other message that voice is telling me is that the problem is not that the world isn’t spinning the wrong way, the problem is that I’m not spinning the right way !
Our own responsibility
I’ve always be convinced that, whatever we’re doing, we are the sole actors of our own lives. Thus, the simple fact of feeling unsatisfied of ourselves or of a moment means we accepted not to be the actor of our life anymore. And this, not being responsible of my life and not being the actress of my life, this is something I don’t quite like. This personal and fundamental attitude has been a driver for long, it has been reinforced and influenced by stoicism and Marc-Aurèle for sure but at first it came out of a simple observation : it would be totally absurd that I’d be on Earth without being able ton influence my life and act on it and for it ! Therefore, if I’m on this planet, it’s because I have the opportunity to act upon my own life. It is as if I had two pairs of glasses : the first one (let’s call them the actor glasses) shows me a world where there are only things I can influence (my emotions, my decisions, my actions, ..), the other pair (let’s call them the undergoer glasses) shows me a world with the elements I can not influence (people’s attitudes and reactions, events happening around me or in the world, etc.).
Once you understand, accept and are convinced that you are the actor of your own life, the rest is simply the hardest part : adapting the inner little voice so that your own thoughts match your conviction of being the actor of your life. This is why, when I realise that my inner little voice (my thoughts !) is telling me that something could be different and better, it’s an alert that I have put on the wrong pair of glasses. I then listen to it and invite myself to put on the other pair of glasses.
A bit more of self-awareness
The first step of understanding you can change your glasses and then the second step of noticing when we put one or the other pair require some training : like a little game with yourself, try to become an observer of what your inner voice is telling you. Maybe have a notepad handy to jot down some notes regarding the moments when you notice you are wearing the undergoer glasses, you might see some patterns in there (for instance, as far as I’m concerned, I seem to put them on around 7pm each day !). And I promise, the more you merely observe when you put one or the other pair of glasses, the more you’ll wear the actor glasses !